Cannibal! The Musical (1996)

Man, I hate reviewing comedies. Don’t get me wrong—I love watching comedies. I love to laugh and consider myself to be someone with a very good sense of humor. I love intellectual and witty humor, but I’ll admit I’ll laugh at a dick or fart joke as well. I absolutely love dark humor, the darker the better. A comedy has to be pretty fucking awful…and I mean awful for me to not like it. Which is why I rarely review any comedy films—it seems with comedy, you can’t please everyone, not even half the time. People have so many hang-ups with humor, as far as what is funny and what is not, and what should be made fun of and what should not. There are so many different kinds of humor as well; there is no way you’re going to please everyone. Like the late, great, Rodney Dangerfield--comedy gets no respect. One of the most common critiques of comedy is “It was so stupid!” Since when can something stupid not be funny? More often than not, people just have a hard time saying that they ‘just didn’t get it’, like admitting that you ‘just didn’t get the humor’ is somehow implying that you’re not intelligent enough to get it, when that’s really not the case at all. I think a majority of critics slam comedies because instead of just saying ‘I didn’t get’ and admitting the problem may just be that the film didn’t appeal to their sense of humor, they shit all over the film to make themselves feel superior. Comedy is very subjective. I guarantee if you took 10 people and showed them 10 different comedies, there will not be one of those films that all 10 people agree that they like. So this is why I hate to review comedies. Moving on…

I’m a huge fan of Trey Parker, I think he’s a comical genius! His partner in crime, Matt Stone is no slouch himself. I’ve been a fan of South Park since the very first episode, I also love all of Trey and Matt’s films, including ORGAZMO, BASEketball, TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE, SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER, AND UNCUT, and the movie I’m reviewing now, CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL aka ALFERD PACKER: THE MUSICAL—Parker’s first film, nothing more than a very ambitious student film. Anyone familiar with Parker’s other films, and South Park will know that music plays a big role, no more so than with CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL (with exception of the South Park movie which was essentially a musical as well). Just the idea of making a musical comedy about pioneers and cannibalism—based on a true story nonetheless, is comical—but Parker pulls it off with a heaping dose of pitch black humor and musical numbers that rival anything Broadway can dish out. I for one am not a fan of most musicals. In fact I hate most musicals. I really only like musicals when either a) the music rocks, b) they’re funny, or c) they cover dark subject matter. CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL scores 2 out of 3. Not bad.

The story starts with Alferd Packer (Parker) in a courtroom being charged with murder and cannibalism (acted out in gruesome and hilarious detail in the beginning of the film). While in his jail cell, a female reporter, Polly Pry (Toddy Walters) gets Alferd to tell his side of the story. It all starts when Alferd is talked in to leading some Moron prospectors to the Colorado Territories from Utah in search for gold. Alferd is from Colorado originally, which is why the men decide to follow him, but he’s no guide and he ends up getting the group lost. The group consist of 5 men, and Packer. One is the nerdy, James Humphries, an annoying jackass, played by Matt Stone. There is also the perpetually optimistic, Israel Swan (Jon Hegal), the horny virgin, George Noon (played by Dian Bachar, from BASEketball and ORGAZMO), the pessimist, Frank Miller (Jason McHugh), and their spiritual leader, Shannon Bell (Ian Hardin). Lastly, there is Alferd’s horse, Liane—whom Packer has somewhat of a disturbingly close relationship with. The men go through many hardships on their long and winding trip. They lose all their supplies when Liane runs away in the middle of the night, they have to cross huge rivers (“’Are there any more big rivers between here and Breckenridge?' 'Oh no, just the Colorado!' THE BIGGEST FUCKING RIVER I'VE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”), they end up eating their shoes, dealing with a Cyclops (a one-eyed confederate soldier), Japanese Indians, some brawny trappers, and eventually, cannibalism.

“Hey! You're cutting into his butt!”
”Well what sort of meat do you want?”
”Well not butt!”

Okay so the humor is quite low-brow and at times very immature, but it always makes me laugh (“Fudge, Packer?”). You can find traces of all the Trey Parker’s comical influences throughout the film. The humor styling of Jim Abrahams and David Zucker (AIRPLANE) is pretty prevalent. There are also traces of Mel Brooks, Monty Python, as well as Lloyd Kaufman. It’s no surprise that the company that eventually picked up the film for distribution was Troma (it was made in 1993, but not released until 1996), it fits in very well with Troma’s style. If you’re looking for sophisticated humor, you’ll have to look somewhere else, but what kind of jackass would be looking for sophisticated humor in a film called, CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL anyways?

I’ve seen the film several times (I usually watch it every year between Thanksgiving and Xmas), and it wasn’t until my last viewing that I found a lot of the characters in the film come off as rough drafts for South Park characters. Trey’s Alferd Packer has all the wild-eyed innocence of Stan (there’s even a ‘what I’ve learned’ speech towards the end of the film). Matt Stone’s character is basically Kyle, even sporting the same style winter hat, which hides a huge ginger Jewfro underneath. The Frank Miller character is basically Craig, the cynical realist that hates all the main South Park kids. Swan, the guy who wants to “build a snowman” while the group is all dying from hunger and frostbite, is basically an older version of Butters—the kid so full of optimism and cheer that you want to kill him. It could also be argued that the sex-obsessed, George Noon, laid the groundwork for sex-obsessed, Kenny. Sadly there is no Cartman (though his voice is heard as one of the townsfolk at one point), but traces of him could probably be found in both the Shannon Bell character, as well as Frenchie the Trapper (“Oh, you’re French?” “No.”)

It’s silly and immature, and cinematic elitists probably look down their noses at it, but I think the movie is fucking funny, and one hell of a good time. 

CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL trailer